JS Tip 518: Build a Civil Culture

Two weeks ago, we talked about toxic criticism. 

Last week, we talked about civility. 

This week, we’ll talk about how to build a civil culture. 

The most important idea: Leaders lead the way, and you’re a leader.

Five suggestions:  

• Compliment people on a job well done. Keep it sincere, specific, and short: “Charlie, you did an excellent job on the Anderson contract. Your work with the templates saved the day. I’m grateful. Thank you.”

• Surprise people. Grandparents surprise good grandchildren with chocolate. The Army surprises good soldiers with challenge coins. Find a way to surprise and reward those who do a good job. A candy bar? A day off with pay? A gift certificate? This must be a gift with no strings attached.

• Ensure your words, actions, and body language communicate that you value those around you. Dr. Albert Mehrabian (UCLA) says fifty-five percent of the message is body language.

• Listen and seek to understand the other person’s views. Listen with your ears, eyes, and body language. Make eye contact. Nod. Respectfully ask questions.

• Give others the benefit of the doubt. Believe something good about someone, rather than something bad, when you have the possibility of doing either.

You must do this with authenticity. Civil behavior is effective only when it’s viewed as sincere and honest. The motivation must match the message; otherwise, it’s empty and counterproductive.

As you build a civil culture, you’ll be surprised by other people’s reactions. They’ll start to do the same. (Life is a circle.) 

Leaders lead the way. You’re a leader.   

We love this stuff.