Tip 667: Comfort and Control

From the Time Management Workshops: Comfort and Control

How comfortable are you as you speed down the interstate? 

Probably pretty comfortable. You control the speed of the vehicle. You watch the road in front of you. You check the rear-view mirror. You’re in charge. You’re comfortable. 

How comfortable are you when your little brother speeds down the interstate and you’re in the passenger seat? 

Probably not very comfortable. He has no idea what he’s doing. He can barely see over the steering wheel. He’s going too fast.

Why are you comfortable in one situation and not in the other? What’s the difference? 

Control.   

We suggest this principle: 

The more we can control the events in our lives, the more comfortable we are with our lives. 

Or, in other words, our degree of comfort is directly proportional to our degree of control.

Two thoughts: 

We’re talking control of events here; not control of people. “Control of people” is manipulative. We won’t go there.

We grow frustrated when we feel we have no control: “Aaaccckkk! Everything’s out of control!” Frustration. Stress. Anxiety. 

So, what do we do? 

A couple of suggestions: 

Start Scheduling. Make a list. Identify the tasks you want to get done each day and post a deadline for each task. Focus on the tasks. Meet the deadlines. Make it a game.

Learn to politely say “No.” “I’m sorry, but I can’t do that. I have another commitment.” (Your commitment is to get your tasks done.)

Even in small steps, the more control we have, the more comfortable we are.   

If you have questions, comments, or arguments, let us know. We appreciate your comments. We love this stuff.