Tip 694: Two Kinds of Apologies

From the Customer Service Workshops: Apologies

Last week’s tip on “I understand . . . ” and “I know . . . ” brought a comment from our friend Brian Bub (in Germany!).

He talked of apologies, and—unfortunately—how they’re often glib and unsatisfying: “I’m sorry, but that’s the way it is.” Not reassuring. Not resolving. Not effective. 

So how do we serve others in difficult situations? A good start? An apology. 

But wait: Difficult situations present two kinds of apologies: 

The apology of empathy: “I’m sorry this happened.” Recognizing the other person’s pain. Reaching out. Bridging the gap.

This must be sincere. It should be immediate. It doesn’t address fault. Its purpose is to connect. To relieve the other person’s isolation.

This, once done, is effective. 

The apology of responsibility: “I’m sorry we made a mistake.” Acknowledging accountability when we’re at fault. Being honest.

This, also, must be sincere because anything less than sincere is insulting. It comes after examining the event (or events) and determining the cause: “Yup. Our fault. We failed. Big time.”

This, once done, requires additional steps, and we’ll talk about these steps next week. 

A Change of Subject: A Reluctant Announcement

Notice the number of this tip in the subject line: 694. Six. Hundred. Ninety. Four. More than thirteen years of tips.

The time has come to think of moving on. Of finding lost cities in dark jungles. Of learning to fly. Of restoring the 1966 yellow Mustang convertible with the black top.

We’ll continue the tips until the end of the year. To Tip 717 (thereabouts). 

You’ve been wonderful friends. We’ve loved this stuff. We’ve loved you. 

Thank you.